Should I invite children to my wedding?

“Will you be inviting children to your wedding?” is a common question and can sometimes be a controversial topic with friends and family. For some, it is an easy and natural decision to include everyone and for others, who perhaps have much larger families, they have to take into account the realities of the wedding venue capacity, other guests expectations, and the extra cost involved in having children in attendance. 

This is very much a personal choice that should support the style of event you are planning and be authentic to who you are as a couple.Your wedding should showcase who of who you are, therefore do not change your style or values merely for one day, incorporate them into your special wedding day.

Weddings are exciting, emotional and long days for everyone, moreso for children who are naturally very curious and energetic little guests.

As with any event, ensuring all guest’s happiness, experience and safety is paramount. 

Below are common realities you may want to explore in making the decision that best suits your wedding day.

Who to invite..the Guest List

The topic of most contention (especially with larger families) is who to invite and where to draw the line when it comes to the number of children. It is not uncommon to feel pressure and anxiety about upsetting someone by inviting one sibling and not the other. When you are creating your guest list, remember you are celebrating the coming of your two lives together and should invite those closest to you. These are the people in your life who will be there to support and care for you over the coming years as a married couple.

We recommend you add a line on your reservations with a phrase along the lines of “Our special day will be adults only. Thank you for your understanding, or due to the nature of our venue, we are unable to invite young children to our wedding.”

Budget

Although children’s meal are often smaller portions and therefore discounted, depending on the number of extra children attending this can quickly add up. 

Additionally, hiring in games, and/or entertainment comes at an extra cost but is worth its weight in gold as the children will have a wonderful time and make precious memories.

Realistic Expectations

The reality of a long wedding day means, nap times might be missed and the event schedule can cause bedtimes to be pushed until much later sometimes turning adorable little munchkins into little gremlins. 

Children can be unpredictable and burst out into crying, become fidgety, or break out into a full blown tantrum at any stage of the wedding ceremony, speeches and and dinner time. If you are someone who likes order, seamlessness and a refined event, then having children at your wedding may not be the most suitable decision for you. 

Children are playful, expressive, spontaneous and like to have fun this in turn might feel more chaotic and noisy having them running around screaming with excitement. If you are looking to create a mature peaceful celebration and wish to give your parental guests a break from being mom and dad for the day, then it is perfectly fine to host a child free wedding. 

Given sufficient notice, many parents can manage child care coverage. However, there is always a possibility if that falls through because the cost is prohibitive or if their child is simply too young to be parted with, you may lose some adult guest attendance. Another point to consider, if all your closest loved ones are at the wedding, this could mean its unlikely for anyone free to look after the kids so you may want to consider drawing the line with children of most immediate family/friends only for instance page boy, flower girl and so forth.

Destination Wedding

If you are planning to host your wedding abroad, some guests may not have the budget to cover costs for the entire family while others may simply prefer to travel without their children and not wish to disrupt other adult guests with young children.

Keeping children happy and safe

Should you choose to have a child- friendly wedding, here are a few useful points and ideas to incorporate.

Remind parents that their children need to remain supervised at the venue to keep them safe as there could be many hazards lurking in an unfamiliar environment such as, water features lakes, ponds or fountains, high balconies, long staircases, free roaming animals, and other potential threats.

Ensure that children remain supervised, safe with friendly activities or entertainment